And out come all these words
Well I missed the train and the traffic was a state
regrets?
Posted on: Saturday, 3 May 2008
Posted at: 3:20 pm
Its already the 4th week of school and I'm feeling scared of all the assignments I see coming my way and I should be planning, at the very least. But I'm doing Nothing!
And to make things worse, my centre has been closed down due to the disease. Which complicates a lot of things!
Sometimes when I feel lazy, I start to think if my life would have been anymore different than it is with me being in this course? Now I wish at the time of the O Level posting period there was someone to tell me what course I SHOULD go into and not have let me choose what I wanted! Because my choices till date have always been wrong!
I have always been dependent on people. So when I'm left to make choices on my own, I screw up!
I was just going through my list of friends in MSN that day and came acros the ID of a very old friend who is, sadly, no longer in this world. We only spent two years together and after that never really talked properly. She was always those carefree types and never gave a damn about what people thought of her. She ended up losing a lot of her close friends because of this behaviour. I never really knew what happened but when we would pass by ach other occasionally around school we'd wave or smile and say hi. The second last time i saw her fit n fine was just after the O Level period.
And the last time I saw her was lying frail and helpless on a bed in the ICU, suffering from advanced Leukemia, which ultimately took her life. And that was the time i found out she was suffering all this since she was 8. She was happy to see me come visit her in the hospital and I was happy that she was able to reognize me. Its been less than a year since she's gone and I still think of her often. She was only 18 and never lived to see what her life would be, what it could have been. She was my friend. A really good friend at one point in time.
May her soul rest in peace.